


Snobiowhite and the gangstas

by rainebous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Even more crack than the last, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6641632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainebous/pseuds/rainebous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh god</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snobiowhite and the gangstas

Yo kidz muthafucka! I'ma rap a story. It aint nuthin but titled 'Snow White n' Da Seven Dwarves'... I be kidding. It aint nuthin but called 'Tobio Kageyama, Da Evil Mackdaddy n' his Multiple Personalitizzle Prince'.

It all fuckin started long ago up in a gangbangin' far away mackdaddydom where volleybizzle was always played. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! There was a thugged-out prince, wit sleek dark afro dat fell tha fuck over most of his wild lil' grill but not his fuckin lil' dark navy eyes yo. His name was Tobio Kageyama.  
Other than his crazy-ass muthafuckin intimipimpin beauty, Tobio was always so short tempered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude also had a stepfather, as his own daddy had died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This Mackdaddy was named Tooru Oikawa. Now da thug was thugged-out. Just like Hercules. Wait no I mean HUNKules muthafucka! His afro was a thugged-out dark chocolate colour n' his wild lil' fuckin eyes a makin dem a matchin set yo. Dude was always favoured n' always wanted ta be.

Now tha Mackdaddy knew dat Tobio was thugged-out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soooooo he made Tobio work n' look skanky. Tobio only gots cuta but he also gots angrier n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So one day, Tooru strutted up ta his crazy-ass magic mirror n' holla'd 'Mirror Mirror on tha wall, whoz tha sexiest of dem all?' Da mirror reflected a volleybizzle playa n' holla'd wit tha sassiest of tone 'I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit what tha fuck you say but Tobio looks mighty fine.'

Da Mackdaddy kicked up a rage cuz a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty pimp was betta than his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude called fo' a huntsman n' holla'd 'That biiiatch dat is mah stepson, bust a cap up in dat shit. Take it ta tha court n' throw a volleybizzle at his muthafuckin ass. Then throw tha knife after.' So tha huntsman went ta tha princes room n' convinced his ass ta play a game of volleybizzle. Kick dat shit! As tha huntsman was bout ta throw tha ball, da perved-out muthafucka stopped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude couldn't do dat shit. Tobio was just so thugged-out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soooooo tha pimpin' muthafucka holla'd all up in tha pimp ta run. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Because tha Mackdaddy wanted his ass dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And da ruffneck done did.  
Da huntsman pretended dat he capped Tobio.  
Meanwhile. Tobio was hustlin all up in tha woodz when his schmoooove ass came upon a cold-ass lil cottage yo. Dude tapped on tha Windows yo. Dude knocked on tha door yo. Dude axed "Every Muthafucka home, biatch? Helllooooo. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So wassup from tha otherside!" Dude was gettin mad salty by tha second n' burst all up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da place was a mess. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sheets here, dust there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho yo. Dude had ta fix dat shit. By tha time dat shiznit was finished, Tobio was chillaxed n' fell tha fuck asleep across tha single bed.  
Soon one of mah thugs came home. To they doggy den dat was clean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. His afro was orange n' his wild lil' fuckin eyes brown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude was so trippin at what tha fuck was goin on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude had never cleaned tha crib yo. Dude grabbed tha nearest thang ta him, a volleyball, n' marched up tha stairs. Once he gots ta tha bedroom da perved-out muthafucka saw chillin Tobio fo' realz. And admired tha chillin beauty. But dat shiznit was a intruder n' shiznit fo' realz. At first he poked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And then da perved-out muthafucka shook n' tha pimpin' muthafucka threw tha bizzle at they head.  
With a yell, Tobio blasted up n' went ta scream all up in tha whoever had hurt his ass n' then stopped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! There da perved-out muthafucka saw dis ginger wit brown eyes mutterin ta his dirty ass up in different tones fo' realz. At first dat shiznit was mad salty n' then chilly n' then horny. Tobio found it weird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So his schmoooove ass cleared his cold-ass throat n' tha pimp blushed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 'Wh-who is yo slick ass?' Da ginger holla'd from across tha room. 'Don't you know me son, biatch? I be Pimp Tobio! Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?' Da ginger was red up in tha grill wit anger n' shit. 'Oh I be sorry as a muthafucka yo' highness muthafucka! Hoes call me Shouyou Hinata. I be sorry as a muthafucka dat mah doggy den is so far up in tha woodz ta know anybody n' dat you barge tha fuck into mah doggy den n' clean dat shiznit son!" Da two flustered thugs glared at eachother n' shit. Then Shouyou laughed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 'Whatz so funky?' Axed Tobio. 'Yo ass may have cleaned but you didn't turn tha stove on fo' tha pie dat you made' Tobio stood up n' ran down tha stairs.  
Afta tha pie was cooked tha thugs talked n' Tobio hustled dat Shouyou had multiple personalities. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! 'Sorry fo' snapping.' Shouyou holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 'It aint nuthin but aiiiight. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorry dat I cleaned.' Shouyou laughed at Tobioz reply. They was like dis fo' a cold-ass lil couple minutes until one dizzle when Shouyou was out, tha Mackdaddy hustled dat tha huntsman aint capped Tobio n' was furious muthafucka! 'Dogg dammit son! Yo ass gotta do suttin' yo ass if you want it done biaaatch! Urgh. I'ma fuck up mah hair!' So his schmoooove ass conjured a potion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And dropped it over a volleybizzle. Kick dat shit! 'One bust a nut on n' he'll fall tha fuck into a chill like dirtnap dat a only be fucked up by legit loves kiss yo. Haha like thatz gonna happen!' Da Mackdaddy cackled n' wrapped tha bizzle like a present yo. Dude then conjured another potion ta make his ass transform tha fuck into a volleybizzle pimp yo. Dude then set up ta find tha cottage wit tha wrapped poisoned volleybizzle up in his thugged-out arms.  
Dude found tha cottage n' knocked on tha door.  
'Just a second!' Tobio called. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude opened tha door n' was surprised ta peep his oldschool volleybizzle couch standin up tha front.  
'Tobio! I thought I should brang you a gift fo' yo' efforts.' Tobio took tha present n' unwrapped it fo' realz. As soon as tha material touched tha palm of Tobio tha potion hit dat shiznit it s magic. Tobio dropped ta tha floor n' tha bizzle deflated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Da Mackdaddy cackled n' was bout ta leave when Shouyou came home n' saw tha Mackdaddy over tha still figure yo. Dude cried up n' ran at Tooru fo'sho. Tooru ran all up in ta tha other side of tha doggy den by tha cliff n' fell tha git tha fuck outta mah grill wit dat bullshit cuz da thug wasn't lookin where da thug was bloody going!  
Shouyou turned round n' looked at Tobio yo. Dude started ta cry like a muthafucka yo. Dude bent over tha figure n' wit a tender movement, he busted tha prince. Da multiple personalitizzles combined tha fuck into one as they wept over one of mah thugs they'd grown ta care for. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Tobioz eyes fluttered n' tha pimpin' muthafucka took a funky-ass breath yo. Dude was awake.  
Now how tha fuck was dat kids!, biatch? I know, I know dat shiznit was dunkadelic yo. Have a phat day!


End file.
